The Hard Part: Real Talk for Struggling Couples

Whether you're navigating nonstop conflict, feeling like roommates instead of partners, or trying to stay connected while raising young kids, our blog is here to support you with real tools, validation and insight.

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Featured Articles

  • Arguments can go from zero to sixty in seconds, especially when emotions are high and you're feeling unheard. This post walks you through the exact steps I teach my clients to pause the conflict, calm your nervous system and reset the conversation before it turns into another painful fight. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about knowing what actually helps in the moment.

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  • The early months and years of parenting can be incredibly isolating, even when you're not alone. If you feel like you and your partner are constantly misreading each other, snapping over small things, or just not connecting like you used to, you're not imagining it. This post explains what’s happening beneath the surface and how to start rebuilding your connection, even in the middle of exhaustion, diapers, and stress.

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  • Therapy can help couples completely transform their relationship, but it doesn’t work for everyone and it doesn’t work under every condition. In this post, I’ll walk you through what actually makes couples therapy effective, what to expect and how to tell if it’s the right time. If you’ve tried therapy before and didn’t get what you needed, this will help you understand why and what to do differently.

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Conflict and Connection

Blog- Conflict and Connection
What to Say When You Feel Unappreciated and Touched Out
What to Say When You Feel Unappreciated and Touched Out

When you’ve given everything to your partner, your family, and your home, and it feels like no one notices.

The First 3 Things I Teach Every High-Conflict Couple
The First 3 Things I Teach Every High-Conflict Couple

The foundational skills we use in marriage counseling to help couples rebuild safety, connection, and understanding.

Calm An Argument By Finding The Kernel of Truth 
Calm An Argument By Finding The Kernel of Truth 

The best way to lower defensiveness, reset the tone, and reconnect, even when you completely disagree.

How to Get Your Partner to Listen Without Defensiveness
How to Get Your Partner to Listen Without Defensiveness

There is a way to bring things up that makes your partner more likely to stay open, instead of shutting down or pushing back.

That’s what this post is about.

Stop Saying This One Phrase in Arguments
Stop Saying This One Phrase in Arguments

This common phrase derails conversations and shuts down real connection. Here's what to say instead.

Considering Divorce? 5 Things to Think About First
Considering Divorce? 5 Things to Think About First

A reality check for couples who feel stuck, unsure, or ready to walk away, but don’t want to make the wrong move.

Can Couples Therapy Actually Work? Here’s When It Does.
Can Couples Therapy Actually Work? Here’s When It Does.

In this post, I break down exactly what I’ve seen make the biggest difference in couples therapy and how to make changes that last.

The Fastest Way to Stop an Argument
The Fastest Way to Stop an Argument

Even if things are already heated, this technique can stop the spiral and bring the conversation back to solid ground.

Infidelity and Affairs

Blog- Infidelity
What Counts as Cheating?
What Counts as Cheating?

Emotional cheating, micro-cheating, and digital affairs can be just as painful as a physical betrayal, and they’re more common than you think.

The Partner Who Cheated Still Matters Too: What Marriage Counseling Can Teach You About Healing After Betrayal
The Partner Who Cheated Still Matters Too: What Marriage Counseling Can Teach You About Healing After Betrayal

Healing takes two. If you're trying to rebuild your relationship after infidelity, both partners need a voice—even the one who cheated.

When Trust Is Broken, But You Still Love Them
When Trust Is Broken, But You Still Love Them

You don’t have to decide right now. But you do need support—and real tools—to heal the damage and figure out what’s next.

Affair Recovery Isn’t About Forgiving and Forgetting
Affair Recovery Isn’t About Forgiving and Forgetting

You don’t have to forgive or forget to move forward—you just need a plan for healing.

When You’re the One Who Cheated: How to Show Up for Repair
When You’re the One Who Cheated: How to Show Up for Repair

You hurt them. Now you want to heal it. Here’s how to start showing up for real repair, step by step.

You’re Not Crazy—Infidelity Trauma Is Real
You’re Not Crazy—Infidelity Trauma Is Real

You're not crazy. Infidelity trauma is real, and you're not alone.

Should You Stay or Go After an Affair?
Should You Stay or Go After an Affair?

Struggling to decide if your relationship can survive infidelity? Learn how marriage and couples counseling can help you get clarity and make the right decision—whether you stay or go. Online therapy for couples in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC.


Parenting and Partnership

Blog- Parenting and Partnership
Why 67% of New Parents Feel Disconnected
Why 67% of New Parents Feel Disconnected

The early parenting years are hard and while disconnection is common, it doesn’t have to be your story.

How to Have Couples Time When You Have No Childcare Help
How to Have Couples Time When You Have No Childcare Help

The advice to “just get a babysitter” doesn’t land when you don’t have one. Here’s what I recommend to my clients when there’s no babysitter in sight.

Fighting in Front of the Kids: How Bad Is It?
Fighting in Front of the Kids: How Bad Is It?

 Fighting in front of your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent. But how you handle conflict matters. Learn how arguments impact children, what healthy repair looks like, and how marriage counseling and couples counseling in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC can help your family reconnect.


Why Having a Baby Can Make You Feel Alone in Your Relationship
Why Having a Baby Can Make You Feel Alone in Your Relationship

Many new parents feel unexpectedly lonely after having a baby. Learn why this happens, how to reconnect, and how couples counseling in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC can help you feel like a team again. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Poole Conflict Solutions to get the support your relationship deserves.


How to Reconnect When You’re Touched Out and Tired
How to Reconnect When You’re Touched Out and Tired

 Feeling touched out and emotionally disconnected from your partner? You’re not alone. Learn gentle, realistic ways to rebuild closeness without forcing it. At Poole Conflict Solutions, we offer marriage and couples counseling in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation today.

What to Do When You Feel Like Roommates With a Baby
What to Do When You Feel Like Roommates With a Baby

 Feeling disconnected from your partner after having a baby is more common than most couples realize. Learn practical ways to rebuild closeness, reduce resentment, and reconnect with your partner. At Poole Conflict Solutions, we offer specialized couples counseling for new parents in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation today.

The Invisible Load: How Mental Labor Destroys Connection
The Invisible Load: How Mental Labor Destroys Connection

Feeling unseen and overwhelmed in your relationship? The invisible load of mental labor can quietly create distance between partners. At Poole Conflict Solutions, we help couples in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC rebalance responsibilities and rebuild connection. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today.


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